How often are we able to have a meaningful conversation with someone who is caught up in their addiction?  It so rarely happens!  How do we get people to simply talk to us?

Here are some easy techniques that may prove helpful as you attempt to communicate with anyone in your life:

1. Use “I” statements as it is easier to hear and creates less defensiveness
2. Avoid global labels (i.e. crazy, selfish, stupid)
3. Describe how you feel rather than attack with your emotions
4. Be clean, clear and complete in your statements
5. Remove the temptation to bring up “old history”
6. Stay away from being judgmental
7. Be specific in the issue you want to discuss and stay on that topic until it is completed

Work hard to avoid the “silent treatment” as it is both harmful and disrespectful.  It contributes to a lack of trust in the relationship which can be quite hard to re-establish.  Building relationships requires both the building of communication as well as trust.  Trust is visceral.  If you listen well, people will trust you.  A conversation is a relationship.  People sense how you feel about them.  If you want to change their attitudes toward you, change the attitude you have toward them.  This can start with simple communication.  Just talk to me!

“If you don’t trust people, people will not trust you.” – Lao Tzu